I must be a Time Lord (aka Maddi makes a Doctor Who joke)

If home is where the heart is, I’m thinking I may have two hearts. My time home on vacation was more than I could have ever hoped for. My home church community welcomed me back and treated me as though I hadn’t been gone for almost a year and it honestly didn’t even feel like I’d been gone at all.

It was an amazing experience getting to step back and look at myself after the nine months I’d spent in Nicaragua. I could see how much I’d grown when I couldn’t see it while I was in the midst of it.

I got to see my cousin graduate from A&M, I got to spend time with my Mom and Grandparents. I got to witness my Mother stepping back into The Kingdom of God and back into community. I got to grow relationships with people and begin new ones with others. The whole month was truly blessed by The Lord and I am so grateful.

However, I missed being in Nicaragua almost immediately. I missed my Kolb family. I missed my church community and Pan De Vida and I missed feeling like I was doing good for my God.

When I was in Texas I felt like I had left home to visit somewhere else and now that I’m back in Nicaragua it feels like I’m grieving the loss of my home. It’s been a very difficult time and this week and 4 days I’ve been in Nicaragua has felt like months.

I’m not sure why it’s harder this time, whether it’s the relationships that grew in the short time I was in the States or the sight of my grandfather crying as I left, but it feels like I’m missing something inside of me.

That being said, I’m glad I’m here. I’m glad I get to continue to serve my God and his people. I just hope that as time passes being here gets easier. I’m not saying I hope to talk to people back in Texas less but maybe just the dull ache of missing them becomes something that makes me stronger instead of weaker.

I know God brought me back down here for a reason and I know that for right now, this is where I’m supposed to be and there’s comfort in that. I hope I’m as much of a help to this family, church, and community as I think I am and I hope I continue to be. 

Brokenness Sermon (because I can't think of a crafty title)

Here it is! Let me just say that unlike the first sermon after I finished this one I spent a lot of time thinking about other things I should have said, but I still think it reached people and I hope it continues as people listen to it. I had a few people come up to me after I finished and tell me they really liked what I had to say and can relate to it so something. Anyway, here it is.



And now some pictures..

Hey look, I did some preaching.

Here it is, the blog post I promised. I feel like I don't have too much to say because most of what's going on in my life is in my sermon. So I guess that means you will have to listen to it.



Anyway, here are some pictures from church yesterday.
This lovely lady is Jackie! She did a fantastic job translating for me yesterday. She's also a lot of fun. 

 Here, have a random picture of the coolest cat in the world. :)

Maddi & Nicaragua's Excellent Adventure

Hello blog readers! This blog post is going to be about my first 12 days in Nicaragua while the team from my church was here. I want this blog to be truthful and I want this to be a place for me to be able to share not only the wonderful things God is doing down here and with me but also the struggles and the hard times as well. These first two weeks here have been incredible and some of them have been very difficult.

The first day we were here in Nicaragua consisted mostly of getting here. The plane ride was very smooth and was my first plane ride as most of you know. As we drove from the airport to the Kolb’s house and we drove through the city of Managua I couldn’t help but think that the plane ride was not long enough for things to be this different and sometimes I still think that. That night was difficult. It was hot and I was in a new place. I had spent so much time planning a preparing to get here and then I was and it still felt like I should still be planning. It was just so strange but I was able to talk to Carrie and share these things with her and she prayed for me. I knew coming here that if I wasn’t open and honest with Carrie and Preston I wouldn’t make it, so I knew I needed to share that with her.

 On Saturday we went to visit this city about 3 hours away called Juigalpa. We took face paint and a piñata to a church up there and spent about an hour or so with the children. I was so relieved that we were doing things was kids because I feel comfortable with kids. It was a little frustrating to not be able to talk to the kids and it was a little uncomfortable because I felt as though I had no idea what I was doing. It’s difficult not knowing the language and not being able to communicate, but then again with kids it’s just easier for me. All these kids wanted was love and attention, just like any other kid and that is something I’m good at. I taught the kids to sing Head Shoulders Knees & Toes in English and the guys played some balloon games with them and then Tricia and I did face paint. It didn’t matter that we couldn’t talk to them, the kids loved every minute of it. And they really loved the piñata! Afterwards we prayed for the leaders of the church and the kids came and gave us hugs. On the van ride back to Managua I got to know some Preston’s team from his church better. They have agreed to help me learn Spanish while I’m here and I’m going to help them to learn more English. Altogether, it was a great day.

On Sunday the Kolb’s and a few members from their Church and the team and I went out to feed the homeless lunch. We walked to a park a few blocks from the house and fed a few guys and then walked around Managua a bit and fed a few more. I feel like we feed more every time we go. We also, of course, had our first church service and Preston’s church. It was great. 

Monday and Tuesday were spent painting the Kolb’s house and getting ready for our trip to the Nicaragua Vineyard National Conference in Blue Fields. Monday and Tuesday were also spent fighting off a serious spiritual attack. It seemed like all of us were under some kind of spiritual attack. Caroline was sick, Brian was sick, Tricia was sick and having horrible dreams, even the team from Preston’s church was getting sick. It was like the enemy was doing everything in his power to keep us from going to Blue Fields. 

On Wednesday we left at 7am to drive about 6 or 7 hours to Rama to take a 2 hour boat ride to Blue Fields. The drive to Rama was interesting. As I looked out the window at this beautiful country all I could think about as how much I loved this place and this country and how right I felt about finally being here which was nice because the past few days I had struggled with adjusting and being okay with the fact I wasn’t in Texas anymore, I wasn’t with my friends or my family or my church family, save the few who came for a couple of weeks. So after the drive to Rama we got on this tiny boat that could hold maybe 24 people. It was pouring rain and the boat wouldn’t start. We had to pull this black tarp over us so we wouldn’t get wet. I was so scared that something was going to go wrong, we’d already been under spiritual attack for a few days and it just felt like it was never going to end. Kim started to pray, she prayed the boat would start and the rain would stop and as soon as she was done the boat started and as we began to move the rain stopped. 

Eventually we made it to Blue Fields and put our stuff in the rooms we were staying in at this motel across the street from the La Vina where in conference was being held. Those few days of teachings and worship were really great. I saw the spirit move in those people there and in me. The teachings were great and the people there were so nice. It’s interesting because before we left Preston talked to us about the tension between the Managua side of Nicaragua and the Blue Fields side and as we were there it really seemed like the people from Blue Fields were doing everything they could to make the people from Managua feel comfortable. You could tell that the Pastor of the Blue Fields Vineyard, Norman and his wife had put so much effort into having us there and the plays and songs and presentation of it all. 

I would like to add the story that is the more comical side of our trip to Blue Fields. They motel the Kolb’s, Kim, Tricia and I stayed at was not the best of motels. There were cockroaches and the showers smelled like Iron. I liked to think that after I shower I simply smelled like Iron Man after he’d been in his suit all day. Anyway, just thought this needed its own paragraph.

Pastor Norman talked a lot about how he believed that The Vineyard was to be God’s hands and feet. The Lord needs our hands and feet to reach His people. He said that God is taking us, The Vineyard, out of our comfort zone. The Vineyard is powered by the Holy Spirit and the Holy Spirit is not going to be a doormat. He’s going to speak His word with power and take us places we’ve never been. I really feel like that’s true for the Vineyard and I feel like that’s what he’s doing with me. The Lord has and is taking me out of my comfort zone and putting me places I’ve never been before. I’m going to be doing things I never thought I was capable of doing, serving in ways I never thought I would and I am so very excited. 

When we got home from Blue Fields the team only had 2 more days in Nicaragua and I was already dreading them leaving. It had been so nice to have people from my church here with me but I knew it was going to be hard saying goodbye to them. We spent their last day, Monday, at the market buying souvenirs and just spending time together. They left that Tuesday morning and I thought I was going to be able to make it through the goodbyes without crying but I was so very wrong. I cried when we said goodbye and I cried on and off the rest of the day. It was sad to see them go but then it was also as if reality punched me in the face. My team had left and I was still here.

It hasn’t been easy since they left and it’s taken almost a week for me to finally stop feeling depressed but I have and I’m here and I know that I don’t need to be anywhere else. This is where the Lord has called me to be and I have grown to love it here. I want to thank all of you for your love and support and please keep your eyes peeled for another blog post. 

Maddi (Mandi) and Sold Out

Wow, so let me start off my saying my blog posts will probably not be this frequent but this weekend was so crazy that I had to write about it! So let’s get down to business, we all know what I’m talking about here and if you don’t well listen up! This weekend was Sold Out and it was my first Vineyard youth gathering and it was one of the best weekends I’ve ever had. We prayed for each other and we served and prayed for others. I’m going to focus mainly on what the Lord did with me.

The night we got there was so amazing! We worshiped and had an incredible speaker. We learned about Tresure Hunting which is letting the Lord show you things about people like “Blue Shirt” and “Left Knee Pain” and going and searching for these people which I thought was really cool. What really made me smile was the hearts these guys have was really clear when there were a good number of people in the front that wanted to receive prayer for things like pain and broken hearts and the people left sitting had to go pray… man those guys jumped right into it and so did I. While we were waiting for the Lord to give us things people might need prayer for I kept hearing “Broken Heart” and of course I said “No way and I saying that out loud Lord, but if you have someone else say it I will totally go pray for the person that goes to the front” and sure enough… that’s what happened. I was so very proud of the person I prayed for because he was so open and so honest and really received what the Lord had for him.

And then there was Saturday… Saturday, there are so many things to say about Saturday but I will start with the outreach I went on. My group went to help this organization called Living Water International which is an organization that drills wells in other countries which is a huge blessing. If you want to learn more go to www.water.cc . The woman there and those guys blessed me so much. I got a ton of advice having to do with Nicaragua and made some new friends. 

Something that completely blew me away was how amazing everyone’s stories were about their day. The Street Team had some great ones and all of those guys did such an amazing job. Although I think Hannah Stevens stories was one of my favorites because the Lord really sent her group on a treasure hunt and it was so amazing. Anyway, the Lord told me I needed to share what working with Living Water did for me and how it encouraged me with my call to go to Nicaragua so that’s what I did, even if I had to tell Kaleb to make me go which caused him to attempt to push me out of my chair. It’s what came after my sharing though that really made the ending to this amazing weekend so special.

While out with my outreach group I made a friend named Emily and it turned out she herself has been to Nicaragua a few times. She gave me inspiration in the fact that I can do this and she also gave me some wonderful advice… but she did an amazing thing for me towards the end of Sold Out. She asked the ENTIRE group there to pray for me. I don’t know about any of you but having that many people around you, praying, speaking truth, giving you words and picture, well it was truly one of the most amazing experiences of my life. I am so thankful for everyone that prayed for me and stood with me in that moment, all of those guys are truly amazing and I really hope I get to see all of them again at DTS.

Anyway, I just wanted to share what the Lord did with me at Sold Out and I want to encourage everyone else that was there and felt the Lord moving in their life to share that with everyone as well. I know for me, hearing other people’s stories about things like this really inspire me to not only attend those events but to DO THE STUFF every day and look for how the Lord is moving every day.

The Big Change Coming

Alright first blog post, here goes nothing. 

I created this blog a few weeks ago for the single purpose of having it for what the Lord is about to be doing in my life, but I’ve come to the realization that I might want to start using it a little earlier to let you all know exactly what the Lord is about to do. I also just wanted a blog because Ashley has a blog. (See what I did there Ashley… Are you proud?)

A few months ago, after an amazing visit from the Kolbs and the Robby Dawkins weekend the Lord started bringing up Nicaragua more and more in my thoughts and then around Christmas he showed me that he wanted me to actually go to Nicaragua for a year. Now, if any of you  know me, you know that I’ve never even been on an airplane so the thought of actually leaving the country was terrifying. I spent about a month fighting with the Lord (which is one of my favorite things to do) before actually trying to put His plan in motion. 

I’d talked to a few people about it and those people were very supportive but nothing was really happening… that is until I prayed for confirmation. The next day I received a call from Carrie and my grandmother got on board. So since then things have been happening rather fast and things seem to really be coming together. I’ve gotten a general budget planned, I’ve started collecting things I’m going to need to bring with me, and Carrie and I are talking regularly.

For me however, and I think for a lot of people, when you put your entire life in the Lord’s hands and I feel like I have, there comes a lot of struggle and a lot of insecurities. Wondering if I’m really hearing him correctly, worrying about what people will think, whether or not I’ll even make it down there. I just have to constantly remind myself that the Lord is going to take care of me and if this is His plan then he’ll provide a way.

And I am so grateful for my grandparents, they are so wonderful and are being so supportive. I didn’t really expect them to support this calling because I didn’t even support it at first but they are and it’s so amazing.

Anyway, the plan as of now is I will be going down there sometime in July and I will be staying with the Kolbs. I’m so very grateful for them and am so glad they are willing to have me. What I plan to being doing down there is mainly seeing what the Lord leads me to do and what He’s doing. I also have a feeling I might be going down there because Missions might just be the thing I’m supposed to do with my life. I know the Lord will being using my heart for kids and my willingness to serve Him while I am down there and I can’t wait.